Not actual wolves. Just cool, weird stuff we made while overly caffeinated.

Woven blankets, ornaments, party crackers and oddly specific gifts. Shipped free from the USA.

Show me the goodsGoth and spooky
Free USA Shipping No minimum, no maths
Ships From The USA Tracked to your door
Oddly Specific Gifts for every holiday and grudge
Real Humans Mostly

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What are we celebrating?

Somebody's birthday. Somebody's retirement. Somebody's cat. We do not judge.

Halloween Christmas Personalized Gifts Party Crackers Blankets Everything else

THIS WEEK'S OBSESSION

Technically, it's the Tarantula Nebula. Emotionally, it's a nap.

Woven from an actual NASA JWST image, because a regular blanket doesn't come with a backstory. Soft, oversized, mildly cosmic.

SHOP THE BLANKET

Spooky season, sorted

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Christmas, handled early

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Meet the pack

Cash and Rusty run this place. Loosely.

Cash handles the money. He is not good at it, but he is confident, which he considers the same thing. Rusty handles enthusiasm and is outstanding at it. Between them they approve roughly forty percent of what we make.

Join the pack

Early access to new drops, occasional nonsense, no spam.

Frequently unasked questions

Why are you called The Painted Wolves?

The painted wolf is a real animal, and every one of them wears a coat of blotches no other one shares. That seemed worth stealing, given what we do. It also beat the alternative, which was two sleep-deprived humans selling things they designed at 3 AM.

What exactly do you sell here?

Woven blankets, ceramic ornaments, handmade party crackers, apparel and printable party games. Business experts told us a store needs a single focus, but we think they're boring.

Are the blankets printed?

Our woven blankets are not. The design is built into the cloth on a jacquard loom, thread by thread, so it cannot crack, peel or fade in the wash, and it gets softer every time. Everything else is made the way that thing should be made: ornaments are ceramic, crackers are handmade and the games are digital.

Will you restock items when they sell out?

Most designs stick around. Some get retired though, so if one vanishes it might be gone for good. If you love it, do not wait.

Can I speak to the manager?

We tried that once. It was just a mirror. We both ended up crying. It's much better if you just email us at info@thepaintedwolves.com. We're actually quite friendly via text.